Who Controls Our Lives – Us or Our Destiny?

This and many similar other questions keep popping up at various stages of our lives. Do we have control on our lives? Do we make our own decisions? Can we influence our destiny? Or is it that really nothing is in our control and everything is controlled by our destiny? I have always been curious about these questions and that curiosity led me to ask Shri Shri Ravi Shanker ji, a blessed soul, who has guided hundreds of thousands of people.

His response was in the form of a story. He said, “imagine, you are driving on a freeway. You are within your speed limits. You get a phone call that someone near and dear has been taken to a hospital. You are now anxious and concerned. As a result, you drive faster, and a cop stops you for over-speeding. You get a traffic ticket.” He continued, “the question to ask yourself – did you get the ticket because you were supposed to (destiny) or did the circumstances make you drive faster and hence you got the ticket (your action)?” He didn’t dwell much as there were many more questions from the audience. But this made me think.

My conclusion is – the answer to this question as to who controls one’s life depends on where one is in one’s spiritual journey. A person, who is more of a participant than an observer in life situations, is inclined to be driven more by their destiny. And on the other hand, a person who is spiritually uplifted and more aware in their life situations, is capable of influencing their destiny.

In the above example, the normal reaction to that call would be of panic and anxiety. Hence, the speeding. Destiny played a role there to have a cop exactly at that time and place when one was speeding. In such cases, many blame the destiny and/or the circumstances for their misfortune.

The more aware response to that situation would be of staying calm and knowing that driving fast will not make much difference. In such cases, one is assimilating the situation better and dealing with situation with calm and thoughtfulness. The cop is still at that same time and place, but this time one is not driving fast. And that really is the difference.

Know that just because there is calmness in one’s response does not mean, there is a bit less willingness or lack of action taking capability. One just learns to accept life situations better and is more an observer first and then a participant next – which is what the old saying means “pause before you plunge.” That pause comes with spiritual awareness. The more one meditates, the longer are the pauses.

More importantly, how one responds in the above situation will form one’s karma, which in turn will influence one’s future. You know, what goes around, comes around.